I Love My Husband

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This isn’t going to be a mushy post about how romantic he is, or how sweet he can be, or how kind he is. Nope. This is a post about how much he drives me crazy.

Back story: We met working at Burger King. We were both 17. We’ve been married now for 39 years.

He’s a goofball and loves making others laugh or get pissed off. Depending on the person’s sense of humour. It’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with him.

 I’d never had a job before, so of course I was nervous. They started me on the night shift. Most of the employees were nice and helpful. Not my hubby. No, he started with his weird sense of humour. He decided to squirt ketchup on me. Needless to say, I was shocked, and a little pissed. Throughout the night, he continued to tease me and goof off. I remember thinking, ‘What an asshole’. The rest of my night shift was a playful mishmash of him being weird and harassing me.

Example: He decided to have a water fight, splashing me with water and bubbles. And I couldn’t even use his name because his name tag was worn off so all I saw was,  ‘IL’. And if that wasn’t bad enough, no one working there would tell me his name. They joked that I would have to figure it out.

I was so glad when the night was over. Not because the job was hard, I found it quite easy. No, it was because I would finally be away from the weirdo.

Getting home, I got undressed and climbed into bed thinking the guy was a compete jerk. Then my mind say’s “I wonder if he’ll be at work tomorrow?” Not because I wanted to avoid him. No, I was anxious to see him again. What does that say about me? That was just the start. He hasn’t changed since then.

I have a baby sister who always wanted to tag along wherever we went. Yes, she was annoying.  This one time, we were walking one night when she saw a boy from school and not realizing she had just opened a can of worms, she tells us she has a crush on him. Big mistake. My hubby proceeds to act like an ape and chase after her. She was mortified. We couldn’t stop laughing.

Yet still, she kept tagging along with us.

So now you have an idea what my hubby is like.

Now, remember I love him dearly. But he also pisses me off at times.

He has a perverted sense of humour, that never stops. He can turn anything around and make it sexual. You say, why does that annoy me. It’s nonstop. For example. I asked if he could go downstairs and grab the laundry. His response: “Yeah baby, you’d like me to go down.” Or, “My straw isn’t working. I can’t suck anything.” His response: “I’ve got something you can suck.”  

See what I mean. But it doesn’t stop there. I like to share funny and sometimes inspirational posts.  This one day I posted a meme that said sweetly, “Sometimes you have just to be done. Not mad. Not upset. Just done.” He posted a comment that said, “You can do me. Then I’ll be done.”

Sigh….  I’m not saying I don’t occasional turn things around into a sexual inuendo. I like to be playful and jokey. I have a sick sense of humour as well.

The difference between us is, I know when to stop. He doesn’t. We can have a sincere conversation, and he’ll slip in a sexual comment for a word or phrase.

No one or nothing is safe when he opens his mouth. But like I said earlier, I love him dearly.

Excuse me for a moment, I need to check if his life insurance is up to date. 😉